Saturday 18 July 2015

The Children In The Park

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Sometimes, the most unexpected encounters turn out to be the most cherished experiences in one’s life. Not all beautiful experiences can be captured and penned down. However, this particular experience is destined to be shared because it taught me a very important lesson in life: that there are innumerable opportunities around us to make this world a better place and leave everlasting footprints of smiles, hope and happiness; all we need to do is keep our hearts and mind open. And the eyes, of course.

I hope that this memoir reposes your faith in small random acts of kindness, to make this world a more beautiful place to live in.

Nitin, Nithika and Nidhi :-)
It happened about eight months ago, when I met three very bright and enthusiastic children in a park, opposite to the office I was working, in the capital city of India, New Delhi. These children studied in a nearby Government School and came to the park after school hours where their father worked as a Gardner. They used to eat, play, do their homework and help their father with his work in the park, post which they went back to their home in the evening. I never saw them leaving the park after the work was done, but I always imagined a classic happy-family-walks-down-towards-the-sunset-after-a-good-day’s-work scenario.

Luckily, my lunch time coincided with the time when the kids came back from school. We started meeting every day during lunch hour. Gradually, these casual meetings turned into discussions around what they were taught in the school, their daily play fights and some small chit-chat stories about our lives and dreams. We started doing their homework together and, occasionally, cleaning the garden as well. Their mother, who works in offices as a support staff, also takes care of a small farm. She would give me fresh farm vegetables. I could never refuse, though I wanted to. And not because the vegetables were not fresh (which they were). It had something to do with her eyes. They were a different story altogether – they were kind, compassionate and giving. Her eyes stopped me from saying ‘no’ to her.  

Call it a stroke of co-incidence or fate, depending on whether you are a believer or a skeptic, during the same time period I came across a book of poems for children by the well-known feminist activist and gender trainer, Kamla Bhasin. This book had poems on gender equality for children. For instance, ideas around entire family participating in household chores, all children have equal rights to play and study irrespective of their gender, and some basic habits and mannerisms. I was a little skeptical about reading poems from this book to the children in front of their parents and others in the park because I knew that their family, like many families in my country, was governed by traditional patriarchal setting and customs where mothers take care of all the household chores, daughters are asked to help in domestic work while the son can play around and the like.

However, when I showed this book to the children, they welcomed it and we made it a ritual to read one poem every day. Children would say, "Didi ! You do not know how to recite poems with actions!? Let us teach you!" Their father, however, was a little reluctant in letting me teach his kids. His reluctance was justified because I was a mere stranger. He never showed any anger, though. He was tall and thin, and always had a calm demeanor and tended to the plants as if they were his own kids. Soon enough, he realized that I meant no harm and, thereafter, he was more than happy to see me.

Initially, it was all about the recitation and the gestures. Oh, how those kids loved to act while they recited the poems. I still smile picturing those moments. Gradually, those children started understanding what was being conveyed in the book. They would often come back and tell me that they both helped their mother in domestic work due to which they both could play and study and not just the boy. This made me realize that it was so simple to impart learning to children because they see the world from a very different set of lens, through which we as adults refuse to see – the lens that is pure and is not governed by the rules of the society or marred by the concerns of the customs, but one which is ready to fearlessly see the different hues of life, make a conscientious decision and accept what is logically right.

Now, I do not work in that office. However, I visit the park and the children whenever I can. Each time, I am happily surprised that they remember all the things we LEARNT from that book on gender equality. I am stressing on 'learnt' because they do not tell me those things for the sake of saying, but they actually try to practice them in their lives. And the learning does not stop with them. I learnt too. I learnt that how happy and content we can be if we live like children; unconcerned about the past or future. And most importantly, it just takes a smile and a little hope to live. Children are indeed the best teachers.

Do you wish to experience true happiness like this?
Then, just keep your hearts and minds open.
And the eyes, of course. Image Copyright: Pankhuri
Yesterday, I visited them after quite some time. I was welcomed with the same love and open arms. I saw their mother smiling. She told me that she thought a lot about my advice and, following it, had made both her kids join tuition classes apart from their regular school classes. She also told me that the kids have passed Grade 2 with good marks and are now in Grade 3. I had to make a lot of effort in holding back tears of joy and pride. But, maybe, she managed to look through that effort of mine and I could see that she was doing the same. Meanwhile, the father continued to hum a tune and attend to his other kids – the plants.

This small incident changed me in so many ways that I cannot even count. It reminded me of a beautiful quote by Anne Frank, “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” You never know when there is a life altering opportunity to make a difference waiting for you just around the corner of the street you walk by every day or next to the bakery you visit often. All you need to do, as I said before, is to keep your hearts and minds open. And the eyes, of course.

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