Skills for Life Session 2 - Goal Setting

Note: Names of the children have been changed to protect their identity. In addition, all details and stories of the session have not been shared here to respect the emotions of the children.

This blog post is the second, in the series of posts, describing the experience of conducting life skills session at Delhi's red light area, G.B. Road.

Before sharing the experience of this session, I would like to share some experiences of preparing for this session. While preparing for these sessions is no less than a combination of excitement, nervousness and a firm belief to make an impact, I have also started to realise that these sessions empower me. I feel more confident and empowered.

In the previous session, children had asked me to bring some songs so that they can dance as well during the session. I guess they requested for this since I am not a very fun person :D Anyways, so I was looking for songs that I can take for them. I had the hardest time searching for songs that I thought were decent to play in front of them, although I knew that they had listened to all kinds of songs like all children do these days. Finally, I could find only three songs. Still wondering what we are leaving behind for our future generations!

Before the session

As I entered the premises of the warm and lovely SPID - SMS Centre at around 2:45 pm, Lalitha ji welcomed me with a  lovely smile. I felt at home. All the apprehensions that I had while coming to this place for the previous session, had magically disappeared. I sat with her for some time as the children were in a class. She had a bunch of school uniforms on her lap and she was stitching them. She told me that it doesn't look good that children wear torn uniforms to school. I could remember my own parents doing this for me. My mother always wanted to ensure that I look the best dressed in school, uniform properly ironed and stitched, if torn. My father ensured that my shoes were polished and they shine. He felt very proud in doing this for me every day until I finally passed out of school, in spite of my repeated attempts at telling him that I can do the same. Suddenly, it stuck me that Lalitha ji was doing a far more noble job here. She was not their parent. Still I could see the same love and care in her eyes as my parents have for me. 

I also keenly looked at the paintings that some students studying architecture had recently done on the walls of this place. It was their contribution. The place was looking lovely and colorful. This strengthened my belief that if we really wish to contribute, we can and will always find ways to do our bit with whatever we have. We just need to believe and take the first step. 

As I entered the room, Rasika came and said, "Didi hum toh wait kar rahe the ki next week kab ayega aur hum aapse milenge" (Didi, we were waiting when the next week will come and we will meet you again). Surabhi jumped in and said, "Didi ab aap daily har week is din aaoge na?" (Didi, now you will come every week same day no?). I could only smile in reply, trying to hold back my emotions of gratitude for the love that these children shower on me. This would not have been surprising if we remain connected to our true essence and nature. Human-beings are made to love and have compassion. However, some of us seem to lose that as we grow up.

Start of the session

We started the session with recollecting whatever we had done in the previous session. I didn't had to say much, the children remembered most of it - if we have self-belief, we can achieve our dreams, we are awesome, we have to be our own Jamvant and so on. (For information on session 1, visit - Session 1 - Self-Worth)

I had prepared for this session with the objective that I have to make sure that when I leave that room after the session, I leave behind dreamers who have a solid faith in achieving their dreams, in defending their dreams and the resolute belief that no dream is too big or impossible.

However, I didn't have to work too hard on ensuring this. On the other hand, they made me realise that I need to unlearn a lot about them. You will come to resonate with what I am saying as we proceed through the session.

Activity 1: Find your way through the maze

The maze activity sheet

The session started with giving them the maze activity printouts. They had to work out their way through the maze to reach the treasure. As I started explaining, children seemed excited with the idea of this activity. All of them could not wait to get started as I distributed the sheets. Some younger children had problems in finding their way through the maze. However, eventually all of them found the way. Then they were asked as to how they did this activity. Some worked backwards from the treasure to draw the path. Then they were asked if they would have been able to find their way if they did not know where the treasure is. Efforts were made to discuss their dreams and relate it to this activity. Some children could realise that if we would have not know where our treasure is, we would not have been able to reach there. Similarly, if we do not know what our dream is, then we will be lost.

In this activity, I think that I could have started by telling them that if one way doesn't work out, we need to look for multiple other ways and keep trying. 

At the end of this activity, one child remarked that everybody found the same way. To this Lalitha ji joyously told them, "Bharose ka toh ek hi raasta hota hai" (There is only one way to self-belief). 

Then the video of Dr APJ Abdul Kalam was played (Abdul Kalam - School Topper Video), showing his life as a child; how through his strong will power and determination he achieved the best in his class, in spite of all odds pertaining to financial situations at home and the low self-belief that he had faced at the hands of some of his teachers. He did not lose belief in himself in the face of adversities. Little did I know then that when I get back home that day, I will hear the sad news of his demise (A tribute to Kalam Sir - Dear Kalam Sir - A Tribute).

After this video, children started sharing that when they get good marks, their parents congratulate them and distribute sweets. They could relate well to the video. This also gave a boost to their belief in education and above that, in strong determination and hard work.

Before the start of the next activity, some songs were played and all the children started dancing. Some even made the non-dancer me dance with them. Oh the feeling of dancing as if no one is watching!

Activity 2: Visualise your future 

Children were asked to close their eyes, listen to what was being said and imagine. They were told that they will be imagining a day in their future.They can imagine anything. Emphasis was laid to live through each detail of what was being said.

Here is what was told to them in Hindi as they closed their eyes,

"Let us close our eyes, remain quiet and picture a scene in the future"

PAUSE

"Now you will imagine your life as you would like it to be 10 years from now when you are grown up and out of school"

PAUSE

"Now it is morning and you have just awakened. What do you see?

PAUSE

"Now you go to your closet to get dressed. What do you see in your closet? What do you choose to wear to work today?

PAUSE

Now you are eating breakfast. What do you see?

PAUSE

You are now ready to leave for work. Where do you go? How do you get there?

PAUSE

Who do you see in your workplace? What are they doing?

PAUSE

What are your feelings about the work you are doing?

PAUSE

It is now lunchtime. What are you doing? How long do you take for lunch?

PAUSE

You are now at work and it is close to the end of the day. What are you doing? What time is it?

PAUSE

Where are you going now that work is finished? How do you feel about the day?

PAUSE

Now let's take a few minutes to review the day. What were your most important thoughts and ideas during this dream?

Post this, children were asked questions on what they imagined, why they imagined so and does it relate with their current dreams and goals in life.

Some of the children shared their imaginations, the brief of which is here.

Sunita - I saw that I woke up, went to open my almirah and took a jeans and a shirt. I ate bread and butter for breakfast and then I went to the hospital for work on a scooter. There I talked to my nurses, attended the patients, ate lunch and came back happily on my scooter. 

Rakesh - I imagined that I woke up, wore my clothes and hurried to the airport for Dubai in a car. I checked into a hotel, rested and then went to play the match. I was representing India and we won. Then I came back to the hotel and slept.

Monica - I woke up, went to my almirah, took out my police uniform and got ready. I had parantha and juice for breakfast. Then I left in my police car for the police station. I was working on a case to catch the thieves. I eventually did. Then I returned to the police station, had lunch and took down some complaints. Then I worked until night on the complaints I had received, post which I returned back home.

This is just the brief. When I was hearing it from them, I could not stop admiring them. And they didn't stop smiling even for a second. :-)

I could clearly sense that the children were all enthusiastic with dreams sparkling in their eyes, they could visualise their future and were energised to chase their dreams. The video from the movie Iqbal (Iqbal - Aashayein) gave a strong boost to these emotions. The video shows the journey of a boy who dreams to be a cricketer but he cannot listen or speak. Despite this fact, he works hard and achieves his dream.

One of the child who wants to be a cricketer from the group had big open eyes with spark and dreams of flying high. Post this video, we had a small discussion on what they saw in the video. Again, I didn't had to work hard to tell them anything. They could see it all. Probably, this is because they perceive the world not through their eyes, but through their soul. Therefore, nothing seems impossible to them.

Activity 3: Wish List

"I want to be a scientist when I grow up. After
being educated at a university, I want to go to the
planet Mars. I also want to dance with Hrithik
Roshan for once.I want to see the entire world
and build a  robot. I want to be famous, besides
building a car as well".

Children were told about Shahrukh Khan and how he had a wish list of all that he wanted to achieve and now he has achieved them all. Similarly, they were asked to create their wish list. Lalitha ji added that they can write as many things in their list as they wish to, no dream is too big.

"I want to be in the police, learn English, and be a 
good girl. I want to buy a frock and learn dance too".

Children were eager to show their wish list and they wanted me to read it. Some of them had written that they wanted to be like someone else famous in their field of interest. I tried to trigger a thought in their minds that they won't be unique if they are like someone else. They will be unique if they aspire to be like themselves, and no one else. We can get inspiration from other people, but we need to aspire to be just ourselves if we wish to do all that we want to. Some elder children were able to understand this. 

"I want to be a dancer and a model. I want to have my 
own dance show as well. I want to teach dance to 
everyone.  I have full faith in my ability to be the best 
dancer in this  world. My elder brother could not 
achieve his dream. Therefore, he wants me to 
achieve mine. I will fulfill his dream". 

I could see how our education and conditioning is not enough to inculcate in us the belief to be just us. At the end of this activity, I told them to keep their wish lists with them so that they are reminded of all that they wish to do. 

The Dashrath Manjhi video (Dashrath Manjhi - The Man who Moved the Mountain) was shown. It is about a person who takes up the task of making way through a big mountain so that the villagers don't have to go around the 70 km mountain to collect water. He made this way through hard labour by cutting the mountain to build a road. This reduced the distance to 7 kms. This left the children baffled. A movie named Manjhi is going to be released on this soon. A perfect end to the session.

End of the session

As I mentioned in the beginning, I need to unlearn a lot about these children. In some of them, I could see a glimpse of me. They are the most confident bunch I have ever come across.

In the end, I asked them if we believe in our dreams. They shouted yes. Then I asked them if we will be able to achieve our dreams. They shouted yes. Then I asked if we are willing to work hard for it. They shouted yes. 

"I liked to write about myself today".

By now, some children had already started to write on chits of paper for the box of happiness. They could not wait. Some children who had lost their papers from the last activity regarding 'main kamaal hun', came with a  paper to me and asked me to write 'Main kamaal hun' on that so that they can write it again and keep it with them like other children.

"I like you Didi. You have let
all of us to believe in ourselves
today. Thank you Didi".

Songs were played in the background as we continued discussing, children were writing notes for the happiness box and yet again Lalitha ji gave me the tasty Litchi juice. I am forever indebted to her and the children for giving me immense love and care.

For this session, I especially thank Lalitha ji because she ensured that the children relate the previous session on self-worth to this one on goal setting. 

In between this session too, the mother of a child came to ensure that she was okay; the other asked her child if she need an umbrella. They are mothers before being a sex worker. They are like our mothers, full of love and care. They want the best for their children as well. Therefore I urge you all once again, 

Do not say or think anything derogatory against these children or their mothers. These children are same as our children. These women are same as our mothers. In fact, most of them seem to have done a better job in bringing up their children in terms of instilling values and life principles than we 'normal' people are able to impart to our children. 

Because if we respect them today, may be some years down the line, I might be able to share the pictures of these happy faces on this blog. Today, I cannot do this because revealing their identity means putting them at the risk of getting stigmatised by us!

Until next time,

Keep Dreaming! :)

Special thanks to Skills for Life for designing this session. The session is far more enthralling than what has been described in this write up. :-)

*NOTE: It is suggested that anybody who wishes to work in this area, does so through an established and trusted NGO. This is not a place to explore casually; do take care of your safety first.